You can't fit 10 gallons of crazy in a 1 gallon house.

CAN!

I decided today that I needed to take time to update our family blog.  There have been many changes for this tribe of ours.  Robby and Drake are now attending different schools on opposite sides of the district.  Both Boblings are in wrestling again this year with Bob helping as an assistant coach and acting as webmaster for the wrestling club.  Chase is busy working and going to school.  Ryan is busy working, going to school and hoping for teleportation to be invented tomorrow.  Sam and Dayton are busy trying to keep Ryan tethered to sanity.  Diamand is getting ready to leave for Basic Training after the first of the year.  Trish is buying a house down the street from us.  I am still keeping books, bending wire and I got a coaches membership so I could go on the mats to photograph at the tournaments.

There are so many changes happening.  Many that are unexpected.  A few that are terrifying.  Most are very welcomed.  I feel like I have run an obstacle course uphill, blindfolded, with vertigo but for the first time in my parenting life I feel relief.  Someone congratulated us on our perilous journey, took the machete from our hands, handed us a map and pointed us towards the beautifully groomed trail ahead with our guide waiting for us.  I didn't fail at crazy!  I was looking in the wrong place!  And guess what?!  It was never crazy, it was just an alternate version of normal.  Although, I still prefer to have it labeled as crazy because I ROCK crazy.

Yes.  I realize that you have no idea what I am talking about and that is okay too.  For all you know, this is a private conversation and you were caught eavesdropping.  Let me just assure you that this really will make sense.  That I am still the same person but with a new appreciation for my "non compos mentis" life and I am indeed sober.

On a serious note, I will take all the little bits that have taken over and explain them each in posts this week.  My goal is that someone somewhere who needs to hear any part of this will hear this.  Because life is too darn short to remake or rename the wheel.

Until then... (this is my cliff hanger.)

The stand off.

I have commented before about how diametrically opposite the boblings are.  Robby is like me, he wants things neat and orderly.  Actually, he is very much like Bob in that he wants things put away but he still has the uncontrollable need to acquire crap.  Of course, to them it is not crap but I assure you, it is indeed crap.

Now Drake is an interesting combination of his parents.  He inherited my social skills and my empathy (Robby took all of Bob's apathy).  However, he latched on to the "I must acquire crap" gene from Robby and Bob.  Although, in this we are all agreed (except Drake) that he acquires garbage.  Literally.  The child will dumpster dive in our trash and recycling and scurry away with his treasures.

Two nights ago Drake discovered a large empty box which Bob then gave to him.  I sat at my table muttering something about "Great...feed the habit..." as my eye began to twitch.  Drake's room will get so bad that I find myself avoiding it, even looking in, and getting through bedtime tuck in as fast as I can with blinders on.  So I started a tradition with Drake.  When his collection gets to the point where I want to kick puppies, then I will allow him to keep his latest and greatest treasure in exchange for Mommy going in and cleaning his room MY way.  This is always accomplished while he is in school or out of the house otherwise every straw or empty toilet paper tube becomes "but that is my FAVORITE!!  It is SPECIAL to me".

Today I took into Drake's room MY way.  He gets to keep the large box which he labeled toy box and I got to throw away kleenex he had pinned to his wall, lollipop sticks that he hid in is sock drawer and the nearly empty soda can he made into a rocket...upside down.  I went a little over board so I am now off to Toys'R'Us to buy a Nerf basketball set...to replace the broken net he got from school ("can you believe it was free?!") that he had pinned to his bed, the wall and his dresser which wasn't able to stay up with the weight of his pillow pet.

This is not happening...

My plan was to post some of my favorite Drake memories on Facebook today so I came over here to my blog and shared a few.  Unfortunately my FAVORITE Drake story was only eluded to in the "Amateur" post.  The original must have been in my old blog.  So... I thought I would take a moment to retell the story for those that are unfamiliar with it.

It was back when Drake was only 3 or 4.  My girlfriend and her daughter went with us to St. Edwards park to let the kids run and play for the morning.  The boys and I had never been to that park so it was quite fun.  After a few hours of play we decided it was time to get cleaned up for lunch and head home.  As we are walking to the van we past the restrooms.  I asked Robby to take Drake into the bathroom and for both of them to wash their hands.  My girlfriend and I stood outside waiting for them when all of a sudden Robby comes running out of the bathroom yelling, "MOM!!!  Drake has some sort of a balloon in his mouth!"  Pause for effect...Are you thinking the same thing I was thinking at that precise moment?  

I VAULTED into the Mens room, completely uncaring who I may catch off guard, only to discover that he indeed had a balloon in his mouth, a little green water balloon.  I was SO relieved that is wasn't the "balloon" I feared it was, I tossed it in the trash, tried not to think about the fact that he had retrieved it from UNDER a urinal and made a mental not to kiss him until I had brushed his teeth 100 times.

Later that night when I was finally able to laugh about the scenario, I posted a blog about it.  It was all laughs and "OMG's!" until a friend of mine (who works for the police department) asked if I was sure it wasn't a "mule balloon".  OMG!!!  These are my choices?!  A "love balloon" or a cocaine balloon that had been lodged in someones carcASS?!  

Thankfully, after my brain shut down while I was huddled in the corner, rocking and muttering, "This is not happening.  This is not happening..."  I did what every self respecting mother would do.  I repressed that thought and those images and didn't smooch him for a week.

You can't buy memories like these.  You really can't.

Ninjas don't wear cowbells

Robby and Drake, first day of 3rd and 1st grade.

School is back in session and this is a whole new world to me.  For the first time in over 8 years I have no children home with me during the day.  What did I do with my first day of freedom?  I had early coffee with a great friend, followed by grocery shopping, followed by my very first day of work and earning a wage in 12+ years.  *sigh*

I had the day off today and it started out fantastic!  Coffee, pedicure, couple of errands, time with Gen, a little cleaning, donation drop off and all before 1pm!  Off to pick up my cherubs from school.  

Robby is LOVING his class and teacher.  No problems settling back in at all.  Drake is learning a whole new side to school not to mention trying to make it through a long day.

Drake's teacher meets them in the morning in the commons (a.k.a. lunchroom) so he has about 20 minutes of sitting in the lunch room with other kids as they eat breakfast.  Do you see where this is going?  Are we all clear on Drake's favorite pastime?  The first day of school he managed to score a free breakfast.  Today he tried again but Robby caught him and couldn't get Drake to leave the food line so he had to tell a teacher.  This resulted in a 8:23am call to me (they were dropped off at 8:10am) letting me know that I need to have a chat with Drake about how the food services works and when he is allow to use his code.  I thought it was no big deal because I was NEVER going to give Drake the code.  That would just asking for trouble.  Unfortunately a well meaning para educator taught Drake to memorize his code.  ARGH!

Fast forward, another Drake incident, fast forward, headache starting, fast forward, I fell again, fast forward, playing at the park after school.  STOP!

I had a wonderful time chatting with the Moms at our usual picnic table and then I see Drake walking across the grass with a small, green, biodegradable bag.  

Me:  "Drake, where did you get the green bag?"

Drake:  "Over by the sign with the dog on it."

Me:  "Where are you going and why do you have the green doggy bag?"

Drake:  "I need to find someplace private."

Me:  O.o  "Why?"

Drake:  "I have to poop."

Me:  "In the doggy poo bag?  Right here at the park?!"

Drake:  "Yeah."

Me:  "How about we walk over to the bathrooms instead?"

Drake:  "Okay, but this would have been faster." (clearly exasperated)

For this and every other time I am mere seconds away from a disaster, I am thankful for my Drake-dar.

*"Ninjas don't wear cowbells" is courtesy of Michelle.  It was her reply to my plea to have the boys wear cowbells so they would stop sneaking up behind me and scaring me senseless.

Dear Za Za...

Perhaps I am snarky because it is too bleedin' early in the morning for a day "off" but I must rant.

We are down to one car right now while Bob's mustang is getting some much needed TLC at the mechanics.  This means that I have been driving him to the park & ride before 6am to catch his bus.  Granted it has been 12 years since I commuted to work but a few things haven't changed.  Basic dress code for a downtown office job is one of them.  Here we go...

This morning as I drop Bob off for the bus I a needed to stop for a young "lady" who was walking rather slowly and reminiscent of a robot.  Then I saw her shoes.  They looked very similar to the pair in the photo only not as nice.

Advice from Za Za.  Honey, if you are wearing shoes like this at 6 in the morning, then you are headed in the wrong direction.  These shoes are meant to be headed home at 6 in morning, NOT to an office job.  Very few woman can pull off walking gracefully in 5" heels and when they do, they are not rushing anywhere.  These shoes have a purpose, a theme, a mission if you will.  Commuting to a downtown office job isn't it.  Try something lower, easier to walk in and that doesn't scream your intentions for getting to the top at work. Save them for special occasions, evenings out where you are able to walk slowly or stand and show off your legs and appear graceful.

Also, to the other gal I saw walking is flip flops and micro shorts.  IT'S 32*F OUTSIDE!  PUT SOME CLOTHES ON BEFORE YOU CATCH YOUR DEATH OF COLD!!!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Or as Drake likes to call it, Leprechaun day!

A friend of mine on facebook shared this photo today and I just can't stop smiling when I look at it.  Drake thinks this a real live leprechaun.

Looking outside I see the cold and dripping wet morning but I know that spring really will follow.  It is early in the morning and quiet and I have a wonderful cup of coffee.  The weekend is wide open with nothing scheduled, oh the possibilities!  And today is the Feast of Saint Patrick.  I have corned beef with cabbage, carrots and potatoes ready for the crockpot.  I am so content in my life right now and I am surrounded by blessings.  

This Saint Patrick's Day I will post all of my favorite Irish Blessings and saying to share.   Slainte!  To your health!

"God invented whiskey so the Irish wouldn't rule the world!"

"May you always have 

Walls for the wind, 

A roof  for the rain,

Tea beside the fire,

Laughter to cheer you,

Those you love near you,

And all your heart may desire!"

"May you live to be a hundred years 

With one extra year to repent."

"May you have warm words on a cold evening,

A full moon on a dark night,

And the road downhill all the way to your front door."

"May your blessings outnumber

the shamrocks that grow,

And may trouble avoid you,

Wherever you go."

"There are many good reasons for drinking,

One has just entered my head.

If a man doesn't drink when he's living,

How in the hell can he drink when he is dead?"

"May the best day of your past,

Be the worst day of your future."

Zenanigans

I have been very remiss in updating the blog but I have a very GOOD reason.  I am now officially a small business owner!  The last 4 weeks have been a whirlwind for me with making jewelry, learning what is needed to create this business, keeping up with orders and just being a wife/mom.  Baby steps.

Zenanigans now has it's own Facebook page!  facebook.com/Zenanigans

I will eventually get a website set up for it but that is out of my league so I will be haunting some friends for help with that.  We do have a blogspot for Zenanigans and I will do my best to keep on top of that with new projects and techniques I am working on.  Here is our blogspot:  http://zenanigans.blogspot.com/

If you see something that you LOVE and must have (YAY!!), please go over to the facebook page and send Zenanigans a message or shoot me a message here.

I want to end this post with my deepest most heartfelt thanks to all of you who have been so supportive and encouraging.  I wouldn't have had the courage to forge ahead if it hadn't been for you.  I also want to thank my parents Herb & Trish for pushing me and cheering me on to find a talent and build on it.  Dad wanted me to start a business years ago and although he isn't here to toast to it, I know that he is still cheering me on and proud of me.

Much love,
Jessica (Za Za)

P.S.  If you go check out the Zenanigans page on Facebook and you like what you see, please like our page!