No Backs...

I am over everyone getting sick or feeling sick or being sick. Over. Done.

Drake has been dancing with a bug for over a month and it finally "whooped" his arse. Went to the clinic last Wednesday because his coughing was so bad that he was beet red, his eyes were blood red, he was clammy and crying. A hot mess. He was given a breathing treatment and an Rx for antibiotic for pneumonia.

Thursday home, Friday home, weekend home...

Monday he isn't doing better so back to the clinic we go. No more pneumonia, no fever, no sinus issues but no change. Suspected whooping cough. So he has to be tested for pertussis which did not look like fun. It took 2 adults to hold him, pin him and swab in the top inside of his nose for 15 seconds. FIFTEEN! I have never seen Drake so mad. No, it was WAY beyond mad. Livid. Enraged. Murderous. He was mad at all of us. Me because I took him to the Dr. The Dr. for ordering the test, the nurse for administering the test and for having to pin him down. He finally forgave me after he finished a bowl of mac & cheese.

We are sent home with a new antibiotic in case it turns out to be whooping cough, a high dose of steroids (I failed to mention that he threw up his Concerta that morning), and a handful of masks. It was a long day. Thankfully the steroids didn't turn him into Tigger on sugar-coated, caffeinated Adderall. Not so thankful that he was feeling bad enough to not have it effect him. Finally got a call that evening saying that he was negative for whooping cough.

Today I fully intended for him to go back to school. Not contagious. Not vomiting. No fever. I chuckled to myself thinking I should pin a note on his sweatshirt reading "No backs".

Drop him off at 8:20am.
School starts at 8:40am.
School calls at 9:30am because directions on Rx do not match Dr. instructions.
School calls again at 9:38am with a request to pick him up.

No one, including himself, could concentrate or get work finished because of the coughing that was now nearly nonstop. Now the crying starts because he feels horrible and the coughing is hurting his throat so the tears bring on the runny nose which heralds the sniffling which only makes the coughing worse and had triggered asthma. My Man-Drake is home now. Showered in a steamy bathroom, bed made on the recliner, clean mask, water, crackers and cough drops at the ready and he is calming down. I'm not even on the naughty list for saying no games, electronics or video other than educational PBS or BBC movies. Yeah. He feels that bad.

This Mum needs a break because right about now I am feeling like 10 gallons of crazy in a 5 gallon bucket. Or to quote my PT, "Nuttier than squirrel poop".

Simone. The High Priestess of Soulful Food. Ohm...

 

Drake and his bestie, Simone, rode the bus home together to spend the afternoon at our house.  At first I was a little intimidated by her diet restrictions but I have never backed down from a culinary challenge.  It's actually nice to have a productive challenge as opposed to "how do I get my kid to eat that when I know he eats it at Simone's house...".  Drake is a very picky eater.  Nothing green, no veggies, nothing squishy (I fall into that group), no rice, no potatoes (except crispy smashed potatoes--OMG, YUM! or fries), no beans, yada, yada, yada...  If you are a parent, you know the list.  However, this little stinker will go to Simone's house and happily eat whatever they serve.  I have been covertly adding "Simone Foods" to our menu and it has been successful so far.  I have even stooped so low as to suggest, "Can't imagine why you won't try it, pretty sure Simone likes this.".   Shameless, I know.  Moving on!

Simone's diet is gluten free, soy free, and diary free and her Mom is a freakin' superhero!  I took some time to look through a stack of recipes that I have been wanting to make, but not up to hearing the complaints, and found some things that would work for Simone.  So tonight we had Grilled Garlic and Basil Pork Chops, Crispy Smashed Potatoes (<-- seriously addictive) and Steamed Broccoli.  For dessert I found a recipe for a No Bake Apple Crumble Bar.  This is where my day of enlightenment began.  

First, I still needed a few things for dinner and for the weekend so I headed over to the grocery store.  Apples.  I was headed for Honeycrisp but was distracted by Lady Alice.  I have NEVER heard of Lady Alice apples before today.  Lucky for me I read the price wrong and bought them before I realized my mistake (7 bones for 6 apples).  They are AMAZING!!!  Crisp, sweet with a bit of tartness and very juicy.  *drool*

Second, Coconut Flour.  If you have never had it before, don't avoid it.  It smells absolutely divine!

Third, Earth Balance Organic Coconut Spread.  Okay, technically I didn't need this but it fit all the requirements and it is now my new favorite buttery spread.  Can't wait for breakfast tomorrow.  Dave's Killer Bread + Coconut Spread = No, Mommy is not going to share.

I have a pretty wide selection of what I would consider odd staples in my pantry.  I got to use many of them tonight and everything was super tasty.  Therefore, I love Simone!  Don't tell Drake, he will hog her all to himself.

For those that are curious and want to try the recipes from tonight, here you go!

Grilled Pork Chops with Garlic and Basil

http://www.porkbeinspired.com/recipes/grilled-pork-chops-with-basil-garlic-rub/

Crispy Smashed Potatoes - NOTE:  Throw in some peeled garlic cloves while boiling potatoes and add them to the "smash".

http://lovegrowswild.com/2013/10/crispy-smashed-potatoes/

Steamed Broccoli

....yeah, steamed broccoli...

No Bake Apple Crumble Bars

http://byebyegluten.blogspot.ca/2011/09/no-bake-apple-crumble-bars-gluten-free.html

And yes, Drake ate it all and LOVED it all!  Even the green!  BAM!

Out with the old...

Gone are the days of the sweet LOLs (Little Old Ladies).  I have commented in the past that the social expectations and rules just don't seem to apply anymore.  Numerous times I have waited, arms full, pouring rain, trying to cross from a store to the parking lot while drivers just zoom by.  Not only do people rarely stop to allow pedestrians to cross but the worst offenders, in my experience, are the LOLs.  Yet, if you reverse the roles and I was the driver that rudely cut off a LOL pedestrian, I would have been scolded; and rightly so!  I would have been reprimanded by my parents!  It shouldn't matter the age, it's just common courtesy.

Of late, I have seen many unusual and unexpected activities by LOLs.  Talking into a calculator while thinking it was a phone.  Arguing with GPS navigator voice as if they were having a two way conversation and being ignored.  Looking for glasses while pulling out of a parking spot with no hands on the wheel.  These are just to name a few.  Today, however, I experienced a new kind of LOL.

As I was leaving the grocery store, I noticed a LOL getting ready to back out of her parking space.  I decided to wait in favor of keeping all my limbs and my life.  She was clearly distracted and taking her time but I wasn't in a big rush.  As she reverses and gets half of her car out of the parking space, she notices me standing there.  I smiled but apparently my presence had startled her so she began to yell expletives...at me... followed by something very similar to this...

...but with a colossal amount of anger.  Needless to say, I was taken back by this reaction.  So I stood there rather dumbstruck trying to decide between laughter or shock.  This didn't bode well and my apparent lack of apology truly enraged her.  Before I could register what was happening, she slammed on the brakes and proceeded to flip me off with both hands, wrapping her knuckles on the window in the process.  Again...I'm still deciding how to register this so I keep staring at this train wreck of a situation.  At this point the LOL is getting honks from a nearby car because she is still in reverse, has put her foot on the gas is is coming very close to hitting their car.  She shifts the car into drive, gives me one last glare and drives off yelling "If you were MY daughter, I would have taught you some F^#%ING manners!"

I must admit that I immediately looked around to see if anyone else had witnessed this debacle and once our eyes met, we both burst into such laughter that I thought my side would split.

There you have it.  There's a new kind of LOL in town and she won't being having any of your shenanigans.

Note:  Just because this story was focused on a LOL doesn't mean that LOMs are any better.  Usually, the LOL is chauffeuring the LOM.

The Drake Equation

Today our little man turns 8.  In some ways it honestly feels much longer than 8 years.  In other ways I can't believe it's already been 8!  I remember my first day with Drake.  You go to the hospital to have your second (or 3rd, or 4th...) and after the baby is born and everyone fights over holding him and commenting on his hair or color or who he looks like, they all disappear.  *Crickets chirping*   Even the hospital staff.  It is almost as if they are thinking, "She's done this before, she won't need anything, lets go help the brand new mommy in room 3".  At one point I gave up on the nurse call button and roamed the halls in my rear a/c fashion gown (fairly certain ass chaps would have covered more) in search of water with ice.  Needless to say I had a lot of one on one time with him.  I couldn't stop staring at him or smoothing my hand over his head, or snuggling and smooching him.

I had been so worried before he was born that I wouldn't be able to love him the way I loved Robby.  How could you possibly be able to?  But when I held him and we were all alone, I felt like the Grinch.  My heart swelled and I realized how ridiculous I had been.  The love I had wasn't going to be split between the two, it doubles and triples.  I was so overwhelmed with just how magical and special he was to me.  He was mine.  And I didn't have to share him, with anyone, until the next day.  I remember saying to him, "Where have you been all my life?  I have been waiting for you."  I still say that to him, to both the boys.

I got to be Drake's Mommy.  I realize that just the thought terrifies some of you when you imagine being in my shoes.  But the rewards are never ending and I wouldn't trade places with anyone else.  Not ever.

You can't fit 10 gallons of crazy in a 1 gallon house.

CAN!

I decided today that I needed to take time to update our family blog.  There have been many changes for this tribe of ours.  Robby and Drake are now attending different schools on opposite sides of the district.  Both Boblings are in wrestling again this year with Bob helping as an assistant coach and acting as webmaster for the wrestling club.  Chase is busy working and going to school.  Ryan is busy working, going to school and hoping for teleportation to be invented tomorrow.  Sam and Dayton are busy trying to keep Ryan tethered to sanity.  Diamand is getting ready to leave for Basic Training after the first of the year.  Trish is buying a house down the street from us.  I am still keeping books, bending wire and I got a coaches membership so I could go on the mats to photograph at the tournaments.

There are so many changes happening.  Many that are unexpected.  A few that are terrifying.  Most are very welcomed.  I feel like I have run an obstacle course uphill, blindfolded, with vertigo but for the first time in my parenting life I feel relief.  Someone congratulated us on our perilous journey, took the machete from our hands, handed us a map and pointed us towards the beautifully groomed trail ahead with our guide waiting for us.  I didn't fail at crazy!  I was looking in the wrong place!  And guess what?!  It was never crazy, it was just an alternate version of normal.  Although, I still prefer to have it labeled as crazy because I ROCK crazy.

Yes.  I realize that you have no idea what I am talking about and that is okay too.  For all you know, this is a private conversation and you were caught eavesdropping.  Let me just assure you that this really will make sense.  That I am still the same person but with a new appreciation for my "non compos mentis" life and I am indeed sober.

On a serious note, I will take all the little bits that have taken over and explain them each in posts this week.  My goal is that someone somewhere who needs to hear any part of this will hear this.  Because life is too darn short to remake or rename the wheel.

Until then... (this is my cliff hanger.)

The stand off.

I have commented before about how diametrically opposite the boblings are.  Robby is like me, he wants things neat and orderly.  Actually, he is very much like Bob in that he wants things put away but he still has the uncontrollable need to acquire crap.  Of course, to them it is not crap but I assure you, it is indeed crap.

Now Drake is an interesting combination of his parents.  He inherited my social skills and my empathy (Robby took all of Bob's apathy).  However, he latched on to the "I must acquire crap" gene from Robby and Bob.  Although, in this we are all agreed (except Drake) that he acquires garbage.  Literally.  The child will dumpster dive in our trash and recycling and scurry away with his treasures.

Two nights ago Drake discovered a large empty box which Bob then gave to him.  I sat at my table muttering something about "Great...feed the habit..." as my eye began to twitch.  Drake's room will get so bad that I find myself avoiding it, even looking in, and getting through bedtime tuck in as fast as I can with blinders on.  So I started a tradition with Drake.  When his collection gets to the point where I want to kick puppies, then I will allow him to keep his latest and greatest treasure in exchange for Mommy going in and cleaning his room MY way.  This is always accomplished while he is in school or out of the house otherwise every straw or empty toilet paper tube becomes "but that is my FAVORITE!!  It is SPECIAL to me".

Today I took into Drake's room MY way.  He gets to keep the large box which he labeled toy box and I got to throw away kleenex he had pinned to his wall, lollipop sticks that he hid in is sock drawer and the nearly empty soda can he made into a rocket...upside down.  I went a little over board so I am now off to Toys'R'Us to buy a Nerf basketball set...to replace the broken net he got from school ("can you believe it was free?!") that he had pinned to his bed, the wall and his dresser which wasn't able to stay up with the weight of his pillow pet.

This is not happening...

My plan was to post some of my favorite Drake memories on Facebook today so I came over here to my blog and shared a few.  Unfortunately my FAVORITE Drake story was only eluded to in the "Amateur" post.  The original must have been in my old blog.  So... I thought I would take a moment to retell the story for those that are unfamiliar with it.

It was back when Drake was only 3 or 4.  My girlfriend and her daughter went with us to St. Edwards park to let the kids run and play for the morning.  The boys and I had never been to that park so it was quite fun.  After a few hours of play we decided it was time to get cleaned up for lunch and head home.  As we are walking to the van we past the restrooms.  I asked Robby to take Drake into the bathroom and for both of them to wash their hands.  My girlfriend and I stood outside waiting for them when all of a sudden Robby comes running out of the bathroom yelling, "MOM!!!  Drake has some sort of a balloon in his mouth!"  Pause for effect...Are you thinking the same thing I was thinking at that precise moment?  

I VAULTED into the Mens room, completely uncaring who I may catch off guard, only to discover that he indeed had a balloon in his mouth, a little green water balloon.  I was SO relieved that is wasn't the "balloon" I feared it was, I tossed it in the trash, tried not to think about the fact that he had retrieved it from UNDER a urinal and made a mental not to kiss him until I had brushed his teeth 100 times.

Later that night when I was finally able to laugh about the scenario, I posted a blog about it.  It was all laughs and "OMG's!" until a friend of mine (who works for the police department) asked if I was sure it wasn't a "mule balloon".  OMG!!!  These are my choices?!  A "love balloon" or a cocaine balloon that had been lodged in someones carcASS?!  

Thankfully, after my brain shut down while I was huddled in the corner, rocking and muttering, "This is not happening.  This is not happening..."  I did what every self respecting mother would do.  I repressed that thought and those images and didn't smooch him for a week.

You can't buy memories like these.  You really can't.